Padding numbers

Ashwin Goyal

Jun 9, 2024

"0.1%? Are you sure the decimal is in the correct position?"

"Yes, triple-checked. Absolutely sure."

"Well, that's not going to cut it. Make it look... more impressive."

"Got it. How about '...including a 2.5-degree rise in city temperature, 47 additional seats won by the local party, and a 3% increase in global solar energy absorption'?"

"Perfect. And, uh, throw in something about the number of cats adopted last month."

"Alright. '...along with a 15% increase in the number of cats adopted.'"

"Great! Send it out."

Exercising to eat

“Think we burned enough for this?” he asked, gulping down a soda. “Definitely,” she said, digging into another slice of cake.

Eating healthy

"I'm gluten-free, sugar-free, vegan, and only eat farm-fresh, locally-sourced raw fruits and vegetables," he said. "So, what can you eat?" "Uh, cabbage." "Cabbage and...?" "Water."